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A Little Anxiety: On Putting One’s Self Out There
Getting through my second poetry reading was easier than the first, even though I was still nervous.
Last night I told someone that if you are going to write poetry, you should share it with others. Although this is how I feel, it is easier said than done.
Anxiety
Last night, arriving at the library where I would read my poems along with three others, I was nervous. All day, I was hoping to get to the end, asking myself over and over why I had agreed to participate. I was anxious.
I know anxiety for I’ve had it since I was young. As a perfectionist personality, I worried about everything. Grades, how I dressed, if I was too thin, if I had enough friends, what I said or didn’t say — you name it, I worried about it.
Although I’ve learned to live with my anxiety and realize that some things especially those out of my control are not worth the emotion, it still creeps up on me in situations like last night.
After the reading was over, I told my friend and the librarian I had been nervous, they reassured me that it hadn’t been evident. You see, I’ve become a consummate concealer of anxiety. And if I were to be honest, I have less anxiety than I used to experience…
