Martin, I find myself hooked on your story! I see that you mean to finish it and I hope you do because I need find out what happens with these characters. I applaude you for sharing it in an open forum on Medium. I am 32K words into a novel and need to get back to writing it - after this poetry anthology I'm publishing soon gets finished! You inspired me to get back at it. The few lines that I highlighted are things that did not read right to me. I am sure it is a cultural difference between you being English and me being American. I just wanted you to know that I didn't know exactly what you meant in those sentences and make sure that the first one I highlighted was not a typo. Please continue writing this story and keep trying to get it out there! Thanks for the chance to comment! Take care - Carol